“Don’t tell him, it’s a surprise!” the official Presidential nominee of the Democratic National Convention told us in an exclusive interview after her nomination. The former Secretary of State was using the opportunity to pre-order Nintendo’s upcoming NES Classic Edition on her phone, presumably for her husband and former POTUS himself, Bill Clinton. When asked […]
Month: July 2016
TRR: Boy Scout Nintendo Reminds Shareholders It Didn’t Make Pokémon Go; Apparently Hates Money
Never one to enjoy a healthy profit margin for long, Nintendo today issued a statement to stockholders reminding the morons that they did not create the hit mobile application Pokémon Go. The result of reminding the powers that be was, of course, that their $3 billion value lead over previous industry leader Sony evaporated in […]
TRR: Final Splatfest is Over; Wii U Loses Only Game Worth Playing
This weekend marked the final Splatfest in Nintendo’s surprise hit Splatoon for Wii U, with Nintendo thugs engaging in squid-on-squid gang warfare over which of the two Squid Sisters they like best. By the time the war was over, Marie had beaten her sister by a tight margin of twenty points, and hundreds of squids had […]
TRR: Sonic Mania Promises A Return to Form for a Fifth Time
Just like Sonic Rush, Sonic the Hedgehog 4, Sonic Colors, and Sonic Generations before it, Sega hopes to go back to the series’ roots for a fifth time to play on peoples’ nostalgia and false expectations for the Sonic franchise. This time, in true 2D. “Fuck it, why not?” Sonic Team head Takashi Iizuka reportedly […]